We all have people in our life who help us, even when we think they’re detrimental to us. Those that are detrimental may not help directly, but indirectly you may learn a lesson from them. Those who have been following my blog understand the issues I had at my former job with a horrible supervisor and despite the absolute joy I felt when I was able to block and delete her number and know that as I started my new job I would never have anything to do with her again, I still am thankful for the experience I had with her. Sounds counterproductive and ironic I know, but really she showed me that I needed to let myself feel valued and to stand up to bullies. I learnt that she was an insecure and anxious person with no goals and no joy in her life, and if anything she taught me about the type of supervisor I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be approachable, confident, and knowledgeable and someone my staff liked. So I thank her for that, never directly (because I blocked her!) but I am thankful that she was the way she was so I could learn a valuable lesson.
But more often than not we have people in our lives that help us directly. Friends, mentors, confidants who listen to our rambling and put up with our mood swings and who encourage us, when we can’t encourage ourselves. My mentor/”sister wife” (we share a work husband, long story) friend is the only person who understood the struggle I went through completely last year. I felt as if I burdened her sometimes because I was in such a negative state, but she pulled me through all the time, even if perhaps she didn’t have it in her to pull me out of despair that day. And she never complained about it. Now that she needs support and is going through the same thing, I can be there for her, just to listen sometimes, because sometimes that is all you need to get something off your chest. And the best thing I love about this relationship is we do it for each other and it’s mutual. I thank her all the time for everything she does for me, because I think sometimes she does more for me than anyone else in my life. She is precious to me.
Finding those people, and thanking those people and appreciating those people is monumental in having effective relationships. Too often we forget to use simple etiquette to appreciate the people in our lives. How many times have you heard that person who is considered ‘toxic’ and simply takes all they can from a person/situation and then gives nothing back. I think I’ve even heard the term ‘vampire’ used to describe these people.
Either way, there are a few ways you can give thanks to those around you.
- Offer sincere thanks, a compliment or encouragement. Making someone feel valuable and appreciated just makes things better. It also says, “I acknowledge you did something for me from the bottom of your heart without malice. I thank you for being so giving.”
- Send a hand written card or note. People don’t take the time to do this anymore, and in contrast to the speed of the digital space, takes time and effort. Your recipient will feel as if you took out some specific time from your day to make them feel special.
- Buy a small gift or voucher as a token of appreciation. There are so many options for different gifts and you don’t need to spend too much money.
- Don’t delay in giving thanks. If the praise is relevant to the current situation, be mindful of showing your appreciation then. Make eye contact, be genuine and use positive body language.
- Giving thanks encourages respect and better working relationships. If you are a leader, manager or supervisor, staff will have a greater respect for you, and will work harder for you. Respect is a huge attribute to have and giving thanks and appreciation is critical to functional workplace relationships.
- Return the favour. Be respectful in the relationship enough that when the other party needs an ear or two or even a shoulder to cry on, that you are there. Respect is mutual as is true appreciation. The most cost effective way to return the favour is to do the same for the other person without an agenda.
- Giving sincere thanks lays the foundation for a strong and mutual relationship, whether it’s a work relationship or a private one. The benefit? A lifelong friend you can trust and respect, or an excellent boss/employee who would always have your back.
When have you given thanks and what techniques have you used?
That Fitology Life 